


Your Father and I

by easterlystars



Series: Drunken Confessions [3]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: AU, Drama, M/M, Partners to Lovers, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4293900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easterlystars/pseuds/easterlystars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>also known as <i>"Drunken Confessions: Remastered"</i></b>
</p><p>Yunho and Changmin say they are two single men with a five-year-old daughter, but when an old love resurfaces, the two fathers realize that they actually have something much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lesson One

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Taiwanese drama, [_Two Fathers_ (兩個爸爸)](http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Two_Fathers).

**YUNHO AND CHANGMIN** are two single men with a five-year-old daughter. Her name is Junghwa.

No, you didn’t read that wrong. Sure. Two unmarried, perfectly single gentlemen raising a young girl together does make up a strange family unit, but it works. After all, a family is not defined by the blood in our veins nor by the obligations for sexual intimacy, but by love, commitment, loyalty, and responsibility.

Changmin, proudly, is the perfect embodiment of the perfect family man. He is committed, somewhat responsible, extremely loyal, and he most definitely loves Junghwa and Yunho (no homo) with all his heart. But sometimes, his unique family culture can create some problems. Insatiable problems.

Such as tonight.

“Changmin, you two have _a daughter_ together.”

“Yes,” Changmin says slowly, dreading what’s coming next.

Victoria looks at Changmin pityingly. He hears Yunho and Junghwa giggling somewhere behind him.

“I…” Victoria looks down and sighs, seemingly tongue-tied. After two long seconds of deafening silence, she finally says, “I can’t, Changmin.”

Changmin stares, a gnawing sensation bubbling up his throat. “Can’t—”

“Not ready,” Victoria says quickly. “I’m not ready to be a mother.”

A breeze sweeps past them. Victoria shudders, but Changmin feels unusually hot. The piercing silence is quickly broken by Yunho’s horrific chicken yodeling and Junghwa’s jubilant screams.

Changmin licks his lips and scoots closer to Victoria on the bench. “But… babe—”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Vic,” Changmin corrects. “You know about my relationship with Junghwa and Yunho. I was very honest with you from the start.”

Victoria sighs. “Yes, you were.”

“Then you should’ve known what you’re getting yourself into.”

“I know, Changmin, I know. But… I’m not ready. I’m just not ready.”

Changmin looks down and turns away from Victoria dejectedly.

“No. It’s not because you’re not ready. You just don’t want to carry baggage.”

Victoria lets out a surprised gasp. “Changmin! No! Of course not! That’s not what I meant—”

“No, Vic. I understand.”

Victoria stares at the ground, her face darkening with guilt.

“I do!” Changmin says, and he does. “I mean, who likes hand-me-downs? No one wants to be the wicked stepmother.”

“Changmin, that’s not—”

Changmin holds up a hand. “Please, Vic. You don’t need to explain. I completely understand. If I were you…” he murmurs, “I think I’d probably say the same thing.”

Victoria looks at Changmin with so much sadness that he’s starting to feel bad for making her feel guilty.

He shrugs instead. “I get it. Really! So…” he says, trying to keep his tone cheerful as he nudges Victoria with an elbow. “Still friends?”

Victoria laughs softly. Her eyes sparkle, and Changmin’s starting to somewhat regret letting her go. Somewhat.

She nods. “Always.”

He’s going to be forever alone.

 

* * *

 

Yunho jumps down from the monkey bars the moment he sees Changmin approach him.

“What happened?” he asks, looking concerned.

Changmin sighs like he hasn’t sighed in years. “Victoria…” he starts, watching Junghwa slide down a playground slide, “kind of broke up with me.”

Yunho jaws drop, eyes wide.

“Shit. Is it because she saw me and Junghwa? Did you explain it to her?”

“Of course I did. That’s the first thing I told her on our first date. She said she didn’t care. But I guess she changed her mind.”

Changmin sighs again, sighing so hard he could blow the leaves off the trees.

“I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Yunho asks gently but with a pang of sarcasm, rubbing Changmin’s neck softly like how he rubbed Junghwa’s after she got scalded by boiling water the other night. “Do you want me to kiss your boo-boo?” He teases with pouted lips.

Changmin rolls his eyes and pushes Yunho off with his shoulder.

“It’s not a big deal. Yeah, sure, I haven’t had sex in like two years, but it’s all good. Less strain on my dick,” he adds in a whisper.

“Papa, what’s sex?” Junghwa asks Changmin, running up to him.

Yunho gasps dramatically and covers Junghwa’s ears. “Changmin! Language!”

Changmin snickers and kneels in front of Junghwa, large hands covering her tiny shoulders. “Junghwa-yah, sex is a very special word that only grown-up’s use. You’ll understand what it means when you become a grown-up, okay?” He tugs on Junghwa’s small pigtails.

Junghwa pouts with that cute pondering look of hers, but nods. “Okay,” she says obediently.

“No, that’s not what it means,” Yunho says, giving Changmin a bemused look. “It means Papa just got dumped by a girl, _again_.”

Changmin glares holes into Yunho’s face.

“Girl? Papa, you want another girl?”

“Of course not, sweetheart! You’re the only girl Papa wants!” Changmin growls, tickling Junghwa’s armpits. The sounds of Junghwa’s giggles fill the playground.

Yunho laughs with them.

“Alright alright, girls,” he says. “It’s late. Junghwa has school tomorrow.”

“Listen to your daddy, giggly bear. Don’t want to get spanked,” he adds cheekily.

Junghwa giggles. Yunho looks unimpressed.

“Let’s go!” Changmin says brightly and holds out a hand.

Junghwa grabs it. She grabs Yunho’s hand with her other and steers her two fathers toward the direction of their apartment.

Changmin smiles at her. Junghwa, his beautiful little girl. His happy drug. His everything. He no longer feels heavy, but light and elated, as if a huge burden has just been lifted off his shoulders.

He looks up at Yunho, his partner in crime, his best friend of over five years. Yunho smiles heartily at him, and Changmin’s stomach churns a little.

Yes. He is not alone. He has Junghwa and Yunho, and that is all the family he needs. He doesn’t need anyone else. And maybe, just _maybe_ , he doesn’t actually need a girlfriend.

Maybe.

 

* * *

 

“YOU WHAT?”

Sunday’s scream was so loud and unexpected, Changmin nearly chokes into his coffee.

“You broke up with Victoria? Why?” Sunday demands, leaning so close to Changmin he goes cross-eyed.

Changmin brings his coffee mug in between their faces and Sunday backs away with a tiny frown.

“We have our differences,” Changmin says nonchalantly as he rolls his chair around to face his computer. “It’s… it’s better for the both of us.”

“But she’s so nice,” Sunday acknowledges, a tint of disappointment in her voice. “And smart. And educated. And rich, and—”

“Fucking hot,” Changmin finishes as he sets down his mug.

Sunday pauses. “That too,” she says in a small voice.

Changmin turns to look at Sunday, who gives him a tragic look.

He heaves a long, drawn-out sigh and turns back to his computer, eyes skimming through his patients’ files on the screen.

“She doesn’t like kids,” he imparts.

“What?” Sunday cries, flabbergasted. “But Junghwa is so cute! How can anybody not like her?”

“You can’t blame Victoria, really,” Changmin says, typing away. “No one wants to marry a guy who already has a kid. It’s like marrying two people instead of one. You go to work during the day. You go back home and work some more at night. Not a good package deal.”

“I don’t mind.”

Changmin arches up an eyebrow at Sunday.

Sunday’s eyes pop open with surprise and stutters. “I mean… uh… kids!” she manages, fiddling with her stethoscope. “Everyone likes kids.”

Changmin nods and shrugs in agreement.

“I believe in commitment,” Sunday presses on, watching Changmin carefully. “I wouldn’t care how many kids he has. I would love them just as much as I love him.”

Changmin stares into Sunday’s chocolate brown irises, his mind wandering back to the night Victoria broke up with him. Victoria and Sunday share the same round, almond-shaped eyes.

“I wish more women were like you, noona,” he says quietly.

Sunday turns pink.

“Are you blushing?” Changmin asks, eyes narrowed.

“No!”

Changmin grins impishly. “You’re totally blushing. Wait—” he smiles wide, baring all his teeth. “You _like_ me.”

Sunday opens her mouth in shock, clearly offended. “What? Of course not!”

“You totally, totally like me!” Changmin croons. He jumps out of his chair and backs Sunday to a wall, cornering her.

“Tell me, how long have you had a crush on me?” Changmin leers as he places his hands on the wall, trapping Sunday underneath him.

“I don’t!” Sunday winces as she tries to push Changmin off her. “Ugh, you’re being so annoying and obnoxious!”

“Come on, noona! We’ve been trainees together for so long! I can tell when you’re lying. What do you like about me?” Changmin asks seductively, pushing himself closer to Sunday.

“God, you’re so immature!”

“Is it the nose or the eyes?”

“I—”

“Or maybe the lips?”

“Changmin—”

“Come on—”

“SHIM CHANGMIN!”

A familiar voice snaps Changmin back. He turns around and sees a displeased Yunho, dress shirt rumpled, elbow leaning on the receptionist desk.

“Sorry for interrupting your little foreplay there,” Yunho drawls at Changmin, sounding not at all apologetic. “But it’s already 2:15,” he taps his wristwatch, _“we’re late.”_

“Oh shit, Junghwa’s graduation!” Changmin remembers, hopping off Sunday.

“Yunho oppa,” Sunday greets shyly.

“Hi, Sunday,” Yunho smiles.

“Did you bring my camera?” Changmin inquires, stripping off his white coat.

“It’s already packed in the back seat, all set up and everything.”

“Such a good wife,” Changmin praises.

Yunho snorts.

Changmin grabs his blazer and swings it handsomely over his shoulder. “See you later, noona!” he jeers, winking at Sunday.

Sunday scowls.

Yunho lets out an impatient growl and drags Changmin out of the hospital by the collar.

Changmin waves his hand in the air like a fabulous princess greeting her subjects from her royal coach.

“Clocking out!”

 

* * *

 

“Fuck, it’s 2:53 now!” Yunho fumes, glaring at the road ahead like it’s personally offending him.

“Jung, language!” Changmin points out sarcastically, adjusting the lenses on his DSLR camera.

“Shut up. It’s your fault we’re stuck in traffic. How can you forget that your daughter’s graduating today?”

“I told you, a lot of patients came in yesterday,” Changmin tells Yunho for the tenth time. “It was a busy night so it slipped my mind.”

“Yet flirting with Sunday didn’t slip your mind,” Yunho spats.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know flirting had time constraints,” Changmin bites back, anger steaming up his nerves. “And besides,” he huffs, suddenly feeling the need to explain, “I’m not interested in her.”

“I don’t give a fuck how many people you’re interested in,” Yunho snaps and Changmin feels like he’s about to explode from a catastrophic migraine. “You’re not a child anymore. Be more responsible.”

“How am I not being responsible? I’m here, aren’t I?”

“How can you say that? You’re Junghwa’s father! You have every reason to be here!”

“That’s not what I meant—”

“God, Changmin, you’re such a brat.”

Feeling appropriately offended, Changmin glares at Yunho so hard he feels his eyes peeling off of his own face.

“Look,” Changmin breathes, soaked with sweat, head pounding from the lack of sleep. “I just got out of a 36-hour shift,” he straightens up from his seat and turns the AC all the way up, “I’m fucking exhausted. I don’t have the energy to argue with you right now.”

There’s a long stiff silence. The guy driving beside them is blasting Taylor Swift to full volume.

“Sorry,” Yunho concedes finally, stopping at a red light. “It’s been a rough day.”

Changmin sighs through his nose and turns to Yunho, who looks about as dead as the cadavers Changmin had to dissect for anatomy class.

“You look like shit,” Changmin observes. “What happened?”

Yunho gives Changmin a tired look. “Well,” he starts, voice hard and foreign as he accelerates his eight-year-old Honda Civic to an impressive thirty kilometers per hour. “In the last three days, over three hundred people signed up for next season’s hip hop classes at the studio. We have to add seven more classes.”

“Wait, hyung, that’s good. Why do you sound so pissed?”

“Because we’re short on people!” cries Yunho, voice raising in annoyance. “Stephanie and I can’t teach fourteen classes! And there’s also the bookkeeping I have to do. A lot of resumes were sent in the past few days and I literally stayed up all night reading through them. I almost got Junghwa late to school this morning too.”

“Oh,” Changmin says quietly, feeling guilty. He’s been so busy with his last year of medical residency that he’s completed neglected his parental duties. Yunho’s literally been doing everything—from the cooking, to the housekeeping, to taking Junghwa to and back from school, in addition to a full 8-hour work day at his dance studios. Changmin once offered to take care of Junghwa during his off-days, but Yunho declined, _“No, Changminnie. You just got back from a two-day shift and you need to rest. I can handle it.”_

“It’s okay,” Yunho says, seeming to have read Changmin’s mind. He squeezes Changmin’s knee. “I can handle it.”

Changmin musters a smile.

Changmin swings his camera’s strap around his neck and leans back on the passenger’s seat as he watches Yunho trying to park the car in the school parking lot. “Since I am off the next few days, I’ll do the interviews for you.”

Yunho jerks and nearly crashes the car into a parking bumper. He stops and surveys Changmin with narrowed eyes, his expression kitten-ish. “Are you sure?”

Feeling affectionate, Changmin grins brazenly and caresses Yunho’s cheek. “Of course. It’s been very hard on you for the past few months. Anything for you, baby.”

Face pink, Yunho grimaces and hastily brushes Changmin’s hand away.

“Disgusting.”

Changmin cackles.

 

* * *

 

After standing in an excruciatingly long line under the hot sweltering sun, the sea of parents are finally pushed into the school gymnasium, where the kindergarten commencement ceremony will be taking place.

Changmin is squished, sweaty, sleepy, and fucking tired of being surrounded by people all day.

“Who the fuck holds a graduation ceremony in the middle of a Tuesday?” he complains, fanning himself with the commencement program booklet.

“Don’t be so negative, Changmin,” Yunho sings, no longer looking like a piece of dead salmon. Changmin can practically see the rainbows pouring out of Yunho’s eyes. “Our Junghwa bear is finally graduating!” he cries aloud, waving their daughter’s graduation portrait awkwardly in the air.

“God, it’s even hotter in here,” Changmin groans as they settle down on their spot at the bleachers.

“Here,” says Yunho, pulling out a mini handheld fan from his backpack and brings it in front of Changmin’s face.

Yunho’s fucked-up tie immediately cuts into his line of eyesight.

“You’re embarrassing,” Changmin comments, mortified.

“What?”

“A 30-year-old grown-ass man who can change diapers and cook baby food, but still can’t do a tie properly.”

Yunho purses his lips and rolls his eye, but nonetheless scoots closer to Changmin so the younger man can fix his tie.

“You always do it for me so I never had the need to learn how to,” Yunho says airily.

“Well, I’m not going to be mothering you all the time,” Changmin retorts, pushing the knot all the way up to Yunho’s neck.

“Ouch! You’re choking me!”

“Just stay still, goddammit,” Changmin mutters, flattening Yunho’s collar.

Changmin pauses, feeling that he’s being watch. He turns to his right and sees two middle-aged women, bleached with thick makeup, gawking at them with their mouths falling open.

“What?” Changmin barks, irritated. “Never seen a guy doing another guy’s tie before?”

“Changmin!” Yunho scolds.

Changmin ignores him. “The stage is that way!” Changmin directs hotly, pointing at the center of the auditorium.

The two women glare back at Changmin defiantly and turn away, whispering fiercely to each other.

Yunho gives Changmin a quelling look.

“What? They were being rude.”

Yunho sighs indulgently.

After what seems like an eternity and more, the commencement ceremony finally starts and the headmaster walks up to the stage to give his boring mandatory speech about school spirit and unity. Feeling stuffy, light-headed, and not understanding shit from the auditorium’s faulty speakers, Changmin begins to doze off on Yunho’s shoulder.

Yunho jerks Changmin awake a second later.

“Wake up, Changmin! Junghwa’s up!”

Changmin shoots up in lightning speed and grabs his camera.

Junghwa, holding down her cap, climbs up the steps and waddles to the other side of the stage, her bright blue gown a size too large flapping behind her. A toothless smile stretching across her tiny face, Junghwa politely reaches out for her diploma from the headmaster. Changmin clicks away furiously.

“JUNGHWA!!!!!!!” Yunho roars and Changmin almost drops his camera. “THAT’S MY GIRL!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!”

Embarrassed, Changmin inches further away from Yunho.

Junghwa turns to the direction of Yunho’s voice and spots them.

“Daddy! Papa!” Changmin hears her squeak, jumping up and down.

Changmin’s mood instantly brightens.

He follows Junghwa return to her seat with his camera, smiling so hard he can’t even feel his lips anymore.

Then, a familiar face catches Changmin’s eye.

She’s standing on the first-row bleachers on the other side of the auditorium.

She’s wearing a gigantic straw hat and a pair of large, thick, bug-eyed sunglasses that cover half of her head, but Changmin can recognize that haunting face no matter how much she tries to hide it.

Changmin sees her lips curl into a smile as she watches Junghwa sit down.

How dare she. How dare she come back.

Shaking in fury and knuckles white, Changmin clenches his hands so hard he almost breaks his camera in half.

“Changmin-ah, are you okay?” Yunho asks, concern etching across his face.

“I’m fine,” Changmin lies. “Just tired.”


	2. Lesson Two

Changmin’s been acting weird.

At first, Yunho assumed that maybe he was just exhausted and needed some sleep, but seeing Changmin’s abrupt change of behavior after Junghwa’s graduation, Yunho can’t help but to feel a bit concerned. 

Although it is possible that Changmin was just upset that another girlfriend broke up with him, and if that is indeed the case, Yunho doesn’t know why he should give a shit.

But he does.

Because the guy never shuts up when it comes to food, especially when it comes to food from his favorite upscale seafood restaurant in Apgujeong, but he was unusually quiet at dinner tonight, and he didn’t seem to have much of an appetite either, strangely.

Yunho knows he’s not exactly the brightest and most observant guy in the world, but if Changmin says no to all-you-can-eat deep-fried garlic crab, something is definitely wrong with him.

Changmin never rejects food. Free food.

Maybe she was a really hot girlfriend.

“I’m fine,” Changmin dismisses when Yunho asks him exactly that on their quiet drive back home. 

Changmin is sitting in the backseat with Junghwa, who is sound asleep, curled up on his arm. Yunho glances at the father-daughter duo sitting behind him in the rearview mirror, and sees Changmin gently brush Junghwa’s fringe away from her face.

“Changmin-ah,” Yunho starts again, voice gentle, as he turns his car into the gated entrance of their apartment complex.

Their eyes meet in the rearview mirror.

Changmin gives Yunho a forced smile. 

“Tired,” he says simply, but Yunho knows that’s not it.

 

* * *

 

The Junghwa family resume to their very normal nightly routine that evening and Yunho almost forgets his earlier concerns. Changmin tucks Junghwa to bed first, like he normally does, and bids Yunho good night before quickly retreating to his bedroom, like he normally does.

After a brief review of the résumés on his desk and groaning at the pile of work he’s going to have to do the next day, Yunho decides that it’s finally time for bed. He knocks into Junghwa’s room, picture book in hand, and reads her _Mulan_ , one of Junghwa’s favorite bedtime stories. 

Yunho yawns loudly after he finishes the book, his brain and speech no longer coordinating. Junghwa looks up at him with a pout, tiny fingers playing with the hem of her blanket.

“Daddy, is Papa mad at me?”

Brain addled, Yunho blinks dumbly at Junghwa for a few seconds.

“No, of course not, giggly bear,” he says after realizing what Junghwa had asked. He lightly pats her fluffy head, “Why would you think that?”

Junghwa blinks up at her father slowly, her eyes drooping. “Papa didn’t look very happy today.”

Yunho frowns at her. “Papa is not mad, just really tired. He worked a lot last night.”

“Thirty-six hours,” she agrees sleepily.

Changmin’s pissed face flashes into Yunho’s mind and he can’t help but to chuckle. That kid complains about everything, especially about the miseries of life, in particular his life as a medical resident. He makes sure that everyone who is related to him within six degrees of separation are aware of the ungodly working hours that comes with being a resident trainee of the cardiothoracic division. Changmin’s work exploits are so ingrained in Junghwa’s mind, Yunho actually caught the little girl sleeptalking Changmin’s entire weekly schedule a few nights ago.

Yunho yawns again. He can barely keep his eyes opened now.

“Yep, thirty-six hours,” he drawls, feeling more and more slow-witted. “Now go to sleep, giggly bear. You have piano lessons early tomorrow morning, remember?”

“Okay,” Junghwa says, obediently closing her eyes. “Good night, Daddy.”

“Good night.” Yunho kisses Junghwa’s forehead and kind of forgets about Changmin for the next few hours because he too is giving in to fatigue.

 

* * *

 

Changmin angrily crashes into Yunho’s bedroom the next morning, wearing an ugly bridal dress that is a bit too tight on the chest and too loose on the hips. He barks at Yunho for losing his engagement rings on his big wedding day, and Yunho’s about to retort that the rings were never his responsibility (wait…) because he’s not the ring bearer, but the Maid of Honor (what?), but then the scene immediately shifts into something entirely different, and Yunho is standing awkwardly next to Sunday, who is for some reason wearing a black cop uniform instead of a lab coat like what Yunho normally sees her in. She’s holding Changmin’s hand, and Changmin is still in that horrendous bridal dress.

Yunho infinitesimally turns to his head to the right, his eyes straining to consider his surroundings, and he notices that he’s standing in the front of a large Catholic church, long marble pillars holding up a roof that’s at least a mile high above his head. Hundreds of eyes smile as they watch Changmin and Sunday say their vows to each other, and realization shivers through Yunho. He is at Changmin and Sunday’s wedding.

Yunho turns back to the couple so fast he almost snaps his neck in half. He glares at Changmin, inexplicable fury rising in his chest. He’s always had a feeling that Sunday had a thing for Changmin… he's always known… but this is betrayal. Yunho had no idea they were even dating… Changmin should’ve at least told him that they were together—it’s not like he would’ve been against it in the first place—actually, he takes that back, he is against it. Sunday is too good for Changmin… shit, they’ve been family for over six years, and Yunho should have— _does_ have—every right to be the first one to know about this… fuck, why is Changmin doing this to him?

A tiny, fragile-looking old man wearing an oversized pink clerical robe steps between Changmin and Sunday, looking bored as fuck. “And now you may kiss—” he wheezes, “—the bride.”

Sunday squeals and grabs Changmin closer, lifting up his ivory organza veil.

Yunho’s heart lurched.

“NO—WAIT!” he shouts, reaching over to Sunday’s shoulder.

The scene shifts again, and Yunho is on the ground, his baby blue dress torn, the church engulfed in green flames. He panics, his heart racing frantically. Above him, a large purple dragon dives straight down, rips through the ceiling, and flies straight at him.

Eyebrows furrowed, Yunho bucks his hips, prepared to dodge away from the fire-breathing creature, but a white flash appears in front of him out of nowhere. Brightness consumes his eyes and Yunho is left momentarily stunned. By the time he recovers from blindness, the dragon is gone.

Instead, he sees Changmin, still wearing that tasteless bridal gown, but Sunday is not standing next to him anymore. Changmin is now sitting on a gleaming white pegasus, a sturdy golden crown perched on top of his curly brown locks. Cherub eyes bear straight at Yunho and when Angel Changmin extends a hand, his lips curl into a mischievous grin. Voice sultry but echoing, the Angel speaks, “Your Highness?”

The Angel then drowns in green fire and Yunho screams.

Yunho’s eyes shoot open, legs tangled in sheets, panting hard like he’s just run a mile. He blinks, registering the sunlight seeping through his window shades, and he exhales deeply with relief. He’s in his bedroom. Not in a ring of green fire.

He sits up. He’s drenched with sweat, his shirt sticking to his skin like a wetsuit. 

_That was one strange dream,_ he thinks.

He frowns. That was one fucked up dream.

Yunho throws himself back on bed, sighing. His brain feels too fried to decipher the meaning behind the green fire, purple dragon, marble church, Changmin’s wedding dress… actually, was Changmin even wearing a dress? Shit, he forgot already. But wait, why—

_Shit._

Yunho throws off his covers and bolts to the door.

“Shit, shit, _shit,_ ” Yunho mutters frantically, throwing on his glasses and flattening his untidy black hair as he tears down the hallway to the kitchen.

“Shit—fu—JUNGHWA! Wake up! It’s time to—time to…”

Yunho stops in his tracks. Junghwa’s standing in front of him, fully dressed in her bright yellow sundress and holding a small bowl of cereal. She smiles cheerfully at Yunho, her two tiny pigtails bouncing on top of her head.

“Good morning, Daddy!”

Yunho’s own bright hot pink apron comes into his line of eyesight and Yunho slowly looks up. Changmin comes to stand behind Junghwa, holding a sizzling pan of fried toast. He grins at Yunho sardonically.

“Toast?” he offers.

Yunho widens his eyes.

This is strange.

Changmin never cooks in the morning.

Changmin never wakes Junghwa in the morning.

Changmin never… wakes up.

What did Changmin do this time?

Yunho narrows his eyes suspiciously at the younger father. “What did you do?”

“Well, good morning to you, too,” Changmin snorts, setting the toast on the dining table. “And I cooked breakfast,” he says proudly with a wide smile, arms extended.

Yunho crosses his arms. “No, what did you _really_ do.”

Changmin raises an eyebrow. “You make it sound like it’s wrong of me to—”

“Alright, what happened?” Yunho cuts him off crossly.

Changmin looks at Yunho like he’s growing another head. “Nothing,” he answers, bringing Junghwa to her side of the dining table. She plops down on her chair happily, unfazed by her parents’ squabbling. “I woke up early, saw that you were still sleeping, decided to cook breakfast—”

“You broke down the car,” Yunho starts seriously.

Changmin snorts. “With your talent I think you break it down more often than I—”

“Or you want me to deal with an ex-girlfriend… _again_.”

“I’ve gone past that—”

“Please don’t tell me you knocked someone up,” Yunho groans, massaging his temples.

“Speak for yourself,” Changmin grumbles.

“I’m not ready for another one.”

“Dude—”

Junghwa’s giggles interrupt the duo’s bickering. “Daddy, your pants look interesting,” she points out gleefully.

Changmin’s eyes fall to Yunho’s crotch and they widen. Yunho looks down. 

Yunho forgot to put on his shorts.

Like _really_ forgot to put on his shorts.

Blood flushing to his cheeks, Yunho covers his front and scrambles to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

Yunho drops Junghwa off to her piano lessons approximately twenty minutes later and heads straight to his dance studios in the heart of Changcheon-dong. Changmin insisted to tag along, offering to pick Junghwa up after her lessons and then proceed to help Yunho look through the studio’s résumés and interview the applicants.

“You were actually serious,” Yunho remarks as he drives into his studio’s dinky backlot parking lot, almost knocking down a few misplaced garbage cans in the process.

“Of course I was serious. When am I not?”

Yunho shrugs. “Kind of… always, actually.”

Changmin gives out an annoyed huff.

“Look hyung, I’ve thought this through. The past few years have been tough on you. Ever since I started my residency, you’ve been at an unfair disadvantage and I feel bad about it. It’s like you’re taking care of two kids instead of one.”

“That’s because I am.”

Yunho smirks at his own absolutely witty remark and expects a glare and a dramatic refute from Changmin, but instead, the younger man just stares back at him sadly. Yunho’s smiles falls, confused.

“Let me help you,” Changmin says, face serious.

Yunho considers Changmin’s words carefully and then recalls, “Changmin, you’ve been acting strange ever since Junghwa’s graduation yesterday.”

Changmin blinks and his lips twitch. 

“I mean, I’m happy about what you’re doing for me, but I’m more worried about you.”

Changmin averts Yunho’s gaze.

“What happened?” Yunho asks softly, lifting a hand to gently rub Changmin’s neck.

Changmin’s breathing hitches and his eyes lose focus for a brief second before turning back to Yunho immediately, expression slack. He shoves his cell phone in front of Yunho’s face and Yunho moves back a little, eyes crossing.

“Time for work.”

“Chang—”

Changmin hops out of the car in lightning speed and grabs Yunho’s stack of files in the backseat. Yunho sighs, defeated. He grabs his cup of iced latte from the cup holder and follows Changmin’s dramatic march into the dance studios.

“Hi, Steph!” Changmin greets, his tone sarcastically cheerful as he bursts through the grimy double door entrance of _U-Know Studios._

Standing behind the receptionist desk, Stephanie, the only other dance instructor at _U-Know Studios,_ looks nonchalantly up from her magazine, lollipop in her mouth. “Hey, boss. Hey Chang…min?” 

Changmin smiles again and heads straight into Yunho’s office behind her. 

Stephanie gives Yunho a quizzical look, eyes wide open.

 _What is he doing here?_ she mouths.

Yunho sets his latte on the counter. “He’s helping me out with the interviews today,” Yunho whispers to her from the corner of his lips.

“That’s strange of him,” Stephanie mutters.

“Said something about how I’m at an unfair disadvantage and he feels bad about it,” Yunho continues, reaching for a mint from the candy jar and popping it in his mouth.

Stephanie shrugs and returns to her magazine, looking bored.

“He can feel?” 

Yunho nudges Stephanie with his hip and scolds, “Steph!”

“What? It’s a genuine question. Hey, Dumbo!”

Stephanie whips around and enters Yunho’s office in two strides. Changmin is sitting at Yunho’s desk, résumés and CVs already stacked neatly in three different piles in front of him. Changmin looks up and gives Stephanie a condescending smile. “Yes, Donkey?”

Unperturbed by the insult, Stephanie grins at Changmin wickedly and pulls out her lollipop with a loud pop. “Like, do you even know how to interview, Dumbo? We don’t want you to, like, end up hiring some opportunist pedo or something.”

Changmin looks at Stephanie as though he's talking to a two-year-old.

“I was the one who hired you, idiot.”

Stephanie rolls her eyes and snorts. “Yeah right… wait, really?” she asks Yunho.

Yunho nods.

Changmin gives Stephanie a patronizing smile.

“Scurry along now,” he sneers, going back to the résumés. “Or I’ll un-hire you.”

Stephanie glares Changmin down.

 

* * *

 

Yunho’s _U-Know Studios_ is located inside a dingy former factory that used to produce counterfeit designer bags before it was discovered and shut down. Yunho eyed the property due its unfavorable history and therefore cheaper rent, but it took over a month of haggling with real estate agents and nearly an entire year of convincing the cops to get off his tail before he could get _U-Know Studios_ up and running. Perhaps because it’s (strangely) located next to a small maternity shop, a humble pet store, and a KFC, most of Yunho’s students consisted of schoolchildren and housewives. A lot of housewives.

Especially in Yunho’s classes.

Which was something Yunho had not noticed until Changmin pointed it out one day, leading to Changmin’s decision to hire ballet-major Stephanie to “correct the gender imbalance.”

Yunho never thought of it as a problem. He actually feels quite grateful for all the affection, albeit a bit overwhelmed sometimes. His classes are good de-stressors for many of these women who lead busy lives during the day, and not to mention, they’re all fantastically enthusiastic during lessons, and Yunho feels honored to be able to help make someone’s day more special.

“Must you sell yourself like this,” Changmin sighs dramatically after shooing Ms. Cho away from asking another personal tutoring session with Yunho.

“Why must you use those terms,” Yunho frowns, picking up a yoga mat on the floor.

“Who in their right mind would even need dance _tutoring?_ ”

“She just wanted me to clarify some things.”

“She was hitting on you, hyung.”

“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

Changmin gapes at him. “She’s old enough to be your mom.”

“Don’t you have to pick Junghwa up,” Yunho says, eager to drop the topic.

“Oh, shit.”

To Yunho’s surprise, Changmin turned out to be a great help. Yunho had purposely scheduled all the applicants to come at two-hour intervals so he could interview them during his breaks between classes, but with Changmin around to do the interviews, Yunho was actually able to take those breaks and rest before starting the next lesson. 

After interviewing the last applicant of the day, Yunho half-expected Changmin to pat himself on the back and leave on accord of doing a job well done, but Changmin decided to stay and hung out with Junghwa in the small meeting room at the back while Yunho and Stephanie continued with their classes. At around three in the afternoon Heeyoung, one of Junghwa’s closest friends from school, comes over with her mother Aunt May and cutely asks Yunho and Changmin if she can bring Junghwa to this new Hello Kitty-themed cafe in Myeongdong. Changmin wants to tag along, but Junghwa and Heeyoung shoos him away, “Girls only, Papa! You can go with Daddy next time.”

Changmin narrows his eyes at Yunho and scoots a few inches away.

An hour later, after Yunho finishes his second-to-last class of the day, he sees that Changmin is still around, sitting behind the receptionist desk with his legs extended on the counter. He seems preoccupied with the gossip magazine that Stephanie was reading earlier this morning, his face in a scowl.

Yunho peers over Changmin’s shoulder. “Whatchya reading?”

Changmin didn’t seem to have heard Yunho walk behind him and jolts. He closes the magazine before Yunho was able to read anything. 

“Nothing,” he says, tossing the magazine to the desk.

“Who’s dating who this time,” Yunho asks casually, dunking water down his throat.

“The G-Cock got busted for crack,” Changmin says like he actually cares about wannabe rap stars. “But anyway.”

Changmin shoots up and leans towards Yunho, backing Yunho to a wall. 

Yunho almost chokes on his water bottle.

“Let’s eat out for dinner tonight. Just us,” Changmin offers, grinning. “I mean also with Junghwa, of course. So three of us,” he adds quickly.

The studio suddenly gets really hot and stuffy, and Yunho makes a mental note to fix the AC.

“But we already ate out last night.”

“There’s a really good new salad buffet a couple blocks down from here,” the taller man says, leaning in so close that he’s holding himself up with a hand next to Yunho on the wall, and Yunho feels so, so small. And hot. 

He _really_ needs to fix the AC.

“We should try it out,” Changmin shrugs. “My treat.”

Yunho takes another gulp of water and pushes Changmin off him with a hand. He doesn’t really like the idea of eating out two nights in a row, but since he doesn’t have to pay, then, “Sure.”

Changmin beams down at him. “It’s a date then. I mean, a family date. Wait no, I mean… yeah, whatever.”

Changmin gives Yunho one last awkward smile and then hops back into his chair, diving straight back into the gossip magazine, ears reddening.

Yunho feels very uncomfortable.

There’s an awkward silence, but then Changmin’s phone vibrates on the desk, and Changmin picks it up after a few moment’s hesitance.

“What?” he barks.

Yunho leans back on the wall, watching Changmin curiously.

“Minho, I’ve already taught you this—that’s the nurses job, we don’t need to do that—I’ve told you a thousand times already—are you serious? I’m off-duty!”

Changmin looks up at Yunho, expression darkening, and then sighs. “Fine. I’ll be there in fifteen.” He hangs up.

“Something happened at the hospital?”

“Yeah,” Changmin sighs again, more irritably, and stands up. “One of my juniors screwed some things up and I have to go back to pick up his shit.”

“Here,” says Yunho, tossing Changmin his car keys. “Take my car.”

“Thanks. I’ll probably be back after six,” Changmin says as he’s halfway out the door. 

Yunho nods. “Okay.”

Changmin steps back into the studios, “Dinner tonight,” he reminds Yunho unnecessarily.

“Yes, go.”

“Tell Junghwa,” Changmin shouts back.

 _“Okay,”_ Yunho says forcefully.

Changmin pokes his head back in. “Don’t go anywhere, I’ll pick you guys up.”

Yunho rolls his eyes. “Go.”

“By six—”

“Get out of my sight.”

 

* * *

 

A little while later, Aunt May calls Yunho and tells him that she is taking Junghwa and Heeyoung to a nearby playground, adding that Junghwa probably won’t be back until after six, which fits in the schedule. After having a little chat with Junghwa on the phone, Yunho hangs up and starts his last lesson for the day.

At around six in the evening, having just finished his last lesson, Yunho is in his office and looking through his schedule for the following week. As he stands to get another cup of hot tea, Stephanie bursts in his office, her grin so wide it could tear her face open.

“Like no _fucking_ way,” she squeals.

Yunho raises an eyebrow. “Hm?”

Stephanie crosses her arms and leans against the door frame.

“Boss, you never told me you knew _her._ ”

“Who,” Yunho asks, pushing through Stephanie to get to the hot water dispenser down the hall.

Stephanie blocks his path and thrusts the magazine in front of his face. 

_“Her.”_

Yunho leans closer and squints his eyes to get a better look.

Warm eyes, small face, soft thin lips, chocolate brown locks running down her shoulders.

Yunho’s expression falters.

“BoA. _The_ Kwon Boa. Korea’s sweetheart, Asia’s pride!” Stephanie lists ecstatically, mouth agape.

Shocked, Yunho sets down his cup and snatches the magazine from her.

“You have a celebrity friend and you never _told me?”_

Yunho flips through the pages of BoA’s interview, heart racing. 

_“And_ you taught her how to dance. Like how unreal is that?”

Yunho eyes brisk through the interview and stops when he sees his name—

— _“A close friend from college taught me how to dance and I learned to love it. He now works as a dance instructor and teaches at his own_ U-Know Studios”—

Yunho looks up from the magazine. Stephanie looks back at him expectantly, arms crossed.

“Yeah, college classmate,” Yunho says simply, handing Stephanie’s magazine back to her.

Stephanie’s mouth falls open again. “BoA. The BoA. She’s like… Hallyu’s biggest singer and you never told me about it?”

“She’s just an old classmate,” Yunho repeats, walking around Stephanie to the dispenser and fills his cup with hot water.

“Uh huh, you taught the country's best dancer and she’s just an old classmate,” Stephanie rolls her eyes. “She called you a friend, boss. Oh my god… like no wonder we got so many new students signed up for the next quarter. They like, totally read this interview.” 

Stephanie then scoffs and whacks Yunho in the arm.

“We could have totally used her to promote our classes earlier! But it’s never too late—”

“No no no, let’s not bother her.”

“Boss, she just gave you free promotion.”

“Well, it’s not going to be free anymore when we ask her to endorse for us.”

“Boss, come on! This is the time to get bigger!”

“No—”

“Excuse me?” a voice interrupts.

Stephanie screams like a constipated goat and Yunho nearly drops his cup again.

His jaw drops.

BoA, the Kwon BoA, the Hallyu’s top singer, the girl of Yunho’s nightmares and unpleasant dreams, is standing awkwardly at the studio’s entrance, looking as beautiful and petite as she ever was before. 

Shit. Yunho was not prepared for this. 

BoA glances at Stephanie with a pained expression and Yunho clamps a hand over Stephanie’s mouth.

Stephanie struggles away from Yunho’s strong grip and clambers over to BoA, shaking her hand furiously and rambling incoherently.

“Oh my gosh, BoA-ssi! Like I’m such a huge fan! We were just reading your like interview and talking about it and like thank you so much for mentioning us! Like I’M SO HAPPY! AHHHH!”

“You’re welcome,” BoA smiles, bowing lightly and grimacing at Stephanie’s shrieks. She glances at Yunho for help.

Yunho closes his mouth, realizing now that it was hanging open the whole time. He rushes to BoA’s aid and pulls her away from Stephanie’s grasp.

“Excuse us, Steph,” he says hastily and drags BoA into his office, closing the door shut with a snap.

“Sorry about that,” Yunho says apologetically as he let her go. “She’s a huge a fan of yours and she’s… yeah, she’s weird.”

“It’s okay, I get that a lot,” BoA smiles, eyes crinkling.

Yunho’s heart skips a beat. “I’m sure.”

There’s a long, unnerving silence. They stare at each other, bodies still, eyes studying with fascination. Yunho sees that BoA’s looking even younger than ever before, prettier, livelier, and for a brief second, Yunho feels like he’s being taken back to the time when they first met, first touched, first kissed.

Then, anger pools into Yunho’s stomach. BoA left him, left _them,_ and without a warning, without a moment’s notice, leaves Yunho and Changmin with a consequence of a lifetime. Six years ago, BoA left them, with nothing else but a brief letter and a basket.

_“I’m sorry, Yunho. I’m sorry, Changmin,”_ the letter read, in BoA’s neat handwriting, in BoA’s elegant stationery, but BoA was nowhere in sight. _“I don’t know which of you is the father, and I don’t know how to face you two, but I know that I cannot give up my dream. Please care for her.”_

“How did you find me,” Yunho asks, voice barely audible.

BoA seems to have felt Yunho’s anger and her expression falls. “Ad,” she answers quietly. “I saw an ad of your studios in the newspaper. _U-Know Studios._ I knew it had to be you. That was my nickname for you during college.”

“Six years,” Yunho says, trying to keep his voice even. “Six years. Without a call. Without acknowledgement. Every time I see you in the news, see you on TV, I wanted to tell you. Wanted to tell you about us. But then I stopped myself, because after what you did, I didn’t think you deserved to know.”

Tears flood BoA’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

Yunho has never seen someone so confident and powerful grow so small and fragile, and his heart almost breaks. He looks away, suppressing the urge to console her and hold her in his arms.

“I was scared,” BoA weeps, looking down and shaking her head. “There was so much I wanted to do, so much I couldn’t do, and I became a jerk. I became a coward.”

Hearing BoA disparaging herself, Yunho softens. He looks at her sadly.

“I regret everything. Everything I’ve done. I’ve considered dropping everything, giving up everything I have now, to search for you guys. But I couldn’t find you. It’s like you disappeared out of thin air.”

“Kind of,” Yunho says breathlessly. “We moved. Several times. Those apartments weren’t big enough for the three of us.”

BoA pauses. She sniffs then sobers up, standing tall. “I would do anything to make up for those lost years.”

Yunho looks at her intently. “You want to be part of her life.”

“I am her mother, Yunho,” she says confidently. “I must.”

Yunho sighs. After six years of no regard, BoA was making a shameless plea. But BoA is, and always is, the mother of Junghwa. That’s the undisputed fact.

He gestures BoA to follow him to the other side of his small office, where Yunho pinned pictures of Junghwa on a cork board—from when she was only a few months old, to her first birthday, to her tearful first day of preschool, to her first trip to Tokyo Disneyland, where Changmin (after much begging from both Junghwa and Yunho) reluctantly celebrated his 27th birthday.

BoA stares reverently at a photo of Junghwa on her fifth birthday, blowing out the candles on her chocolate ice cream cake. BoA touches the photo, eyes watering.

“Her name is Junghwa,” Yunho tells her. “Shim Junghwa.”

BoA sucks in a breath. 

“Changmin,” she breathes.

BoA makes a forlorn frown and that uncomfortable feeling returns to Yunho.

“Yep,” he affirms, breaking the silence. “You know, he’s in his last year of residency now. He—” Yunho stops midway, blinking stupidly, wondering if Changmin would appreciate Yunho sharing all his information to BoA.

A tiny smile tugs on the corner of BoA’s lips. “So he’s made it.”

Yunho’s not sure if that was meant to be a praise or an insult. He laughs nervously.

A loud thump and a small “ouch!” near his closed office door brings Yunho’s attention away from BoA.

He glowers.

“Sorry,” he apologizes to BoA, going to the door.

Yunho opens it and catches Stephanie in a mid-crouch. She loses her balance and nearly trips on her feet.

He puts his hand in his pockets and towers over her, his expression dark and commanding.

Stephanie breaks into a sweat.

“Hello boss!” she greets innocently, her eyes darting for an escape. “Well would you look at the time? I better get going. It was really nice meeting you BoA, officially. I hope you come by more often! Bye!”

Stephanie zooms out of the entrance in record speed, papers sweeping up in her trail.

Yunho glances at BoA from the corner of his eyes and she smiles at him earnestly. He straightens up and faces her.

“I really want to meet her, Yunho.”

“Yeah,” Yunho nods in agreement. “Well, she’s with Aunt May now, but maybe you can—”

“HEY!” 

Yunho’s heart stops. 

This meeting can’t get any more uncomfortable.

Changmin rushes into the office and grabs Yunho’s hand, jerking him away from BoA. He stands protectively in front of Yunho, eyes raging in fury, body fidgeting with anger.

The last time Yunho’s seen Changmin this angry was when BoA left behind Junghwa six years ago.

“What the fuck are you doing here,” he snarls, pointing a threatening finger at BoA.

“Hello, Changmin,” BoA bows in greeting, voice orotund, undaunted by Changmin’s hostile tone. “It's been a while. I’m here to see Junghwa.”

Changmin glares at BoA for a moment, and then smirks in disbelief, shaking his head.

“You don’t deserve her,” he says through clenched teeth.

“I’m so sorry for what I’ve done,” BoA presses on, holding herself strong against Changmin’s intimidating height, and Yunho can’t help but to feel impressed at BoA’s resoluteness. “To you, to Yunho, to Junghwa. I feel remorse. I’ve done so much wrong and I am repenting. I want to make it up to... her. You. Us.”

Yunho’s heart tugs at BoA’s heartfelt confession but Changmin remains unmoved. His breathing quickens, his eyes blazing more furious than ever.

“Let me see her, Changmin.”

“No.”

BoA takes a tight breath.

“You leave her, disappear, go on and live your celebrity dream, live your privileged celebrity life, never once asked about her, never once _mentioned_ her, and now six years later, you show up randomly and expect us that we’ll let you _see her?_ No.”

“I’m her mother.”

“What mother? Junghwa has no mother.”

Feeling tensions rising, Yunho tugs on Changmin’s hand. “Changmin—”

BoA turns to Yunho, her face hard with determination. “I want to see her.”

“Six years,” Changmin growls, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “You were out of her life for six years.”

“Yes, I know, Changmin, and that’s why I want to be part of her life! Let me take care of my daughter.”

“Can you?” Changmin cries, almost laughing. “Can you do that?”

BoA pauses, stoic.

Changmin’s tightens his grip on Yunho’s hand. His voice falls into a whisper. “Yunho gave up his dream of going to law school. He quit his job, stayed at home to take care of Junghwa, and for what? So I can live mine. Can you do that? Can you give up your dream for your family?”

Yunho’s stomach does a somersault at Changmin’s words. 

BoA does not answer. Her eyes remain trained on Changmin, her expression unfaltering. After a moment, she turns to Yunho.

“I’ll see you later, Yunho.”

She places a business card on Yunho’s desk, nods, and leaves the office.

When he hears BoA walk out of the studios, Changmin finally releases Yunho’s hand and glares at the business card, fists shaking.

Yunho puts a hand on Changmin’s arm. “Changmin-ah, calm down.”

“Are you going to go see her again?” he asks abruptly.

Yunho feels dazed. He’s not sure what to do anymore.

“Whatever. I don’t care.”

Changmin storms out of the room.


	3. Lesson Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obligatory cheesy drunken confession scene here we go lel

Yunho is confused.

Just as he finally gets around to realize what really happened, Changmin calls Yunho to tell him that something came up last minute and he won’t be able to eat dinner with him and Junghwa.

Which was totally a lie.

But it’s alright. Changmin probably wants some time alone, which is how he’s always like whenever he comes across a problem he can’t diagnose, and Yunho knows better than to bother him during such introspections.

Because he needs them too.

So Yunho decides to go home instead and cook a big messy dinner with Junghwa, hoping that the clinging and clanging sounds of a busy kitchen could tentatively distract his mind from other obviously very important matters.

But as always, right before going to sleep, Yunho makes sure to leave some leftovers, because the big guy always gets hungry, and hungry Changmin makes a cranky Changmin, and the last thing Yunho wants is to hear Changmin’s nagging.

Around midnight, Changmin comes floundering into the apartment, probably a little bit drunk, and eats all the extra food.

 

* * *

 

Changmin emerges from his hellhole half past ten the next morning, eyes puffy, jaw unshaven, hair in a brown, tangly mess—all signs of a tempestuous sleep. Changmin greets Yunho with a hasty nod and falls onto his chair next to Junghwa in the dining table.

He yawns, lazily. “Good morning, Junghwa.”

“G’mworning, Pwa-pwa!” Junghwa greets cheerfully in a mouthful of bread, eyes sparkling like diamonds. She hasn’t seen Changmin all yesterday night and is dying to tell him about the adventures she had at the Hello Kitty café with Heeyoung and Aunt May the previous day.

“Giggly bear, you’re gonna choke. Slow down,” Yunho says, watching Junghwa gulping down her food.

Hands waving in the air, Junghwa starts—“So there was this big Hello Kitty at the front door, and then another at the back door, and all the cookies are shaped like little kitties! And the tea pots are made of gold, the chairs are made of silver, the curtains are pink and purple—”

Lost in thought, Changmin almost dumps the entire box of cereal into his breakfast bowl.

“—and then the birds came to life and they gave me a Hello Kitty chain! See?” Junghwa reaches up and holds her tiny gold keychain in front of Changmin’s face.

Changmin stares blankly ahead of him, eyes losing focus.

“See?” Junghwa prods again, scooting closer to Changmin.

Yunho clears his throat. “Changmin.”

Changmin’s head snaps up.

“Huh? Oh, that’s nice, Junghwa.”

Junghwa pouts. She obediently shuffles back into her booster chair, clearly saddened by Changmin’s lack of attention to her story.

Yunho bites his lips. He knows what’s bothering Changmin, but there are things that must be done, duties that must be honored, and promises that must be kept.

He turns to Junghwa and smiles. “Giggly bear? There’s someone I’d like you to meet today.”

Changmin chokes in his cereal.

Junghwa pops her head up curiously. “Who?” 

Changmin drops his spoon, eyes wide awake.

“What the fuck,” he mouths.

Yunho ignores him. “Someone very important. She—”

Changmin quickly jumps in.

“Ahem. Junghwa stay here. Daddy and I need to talk.”

Changmin drags Yunho off his chair and into the hallway at the other side of the kitchen, out of Junghwa’s earshot. 

He presses Yunho’s back against a wall.

“What the hell are you doing,” he hisses, eyes ablaze.

“I’m planning to have Junghwa meet BoA today,” Yunho answers honestly.

Changmin’s face falls.

“Today,” he says quietly.

“Yes. BoA needs to go to Japan in a few days, so—”

“So you guys talked about it already,” Changmin asserts, taken aback.

Yunho nods slowly. “Yes,” he admits, feeling contrite. “Over coffee.”

“Coffee? You don’t drink coffee.”

Yunho feels his face turning hot, but continues, “This morning around eight. She actually lives pretty close by. She takes her morning jogs around the hills, so I—”

“Yeah, I got it. Whatever. I don’t care.”

Changmin leans back, face darkening, arms dangling limply on either side of him.

Guilt rises from the pit of Yunho’s stomach. He shouldn’t have promised BoA so easily without talking it over with Changmin first. 

Yunho takes a step forward and reaches for Changmin’s hand. “I’m sorry, Changmin. I know I should have discussed this with you first—”

“And what if I said no?”

Yunho pauses.

“Are you going to stop her from seeing Junghwa?”

“Changmin,” Yunho starts breathlessly, feeling equal parts pity and helplessness at Changmin’s hatred towards his ex-girlfriend. “No matter what, she is Junghwa’s mother. I know you don’t think she deserves her, but… Junghwa has every right to know who her mother is.”

Changmin gives out a forced chuckle. “There it is then.”

Speechless, Yunho’s jaw drops, surprised at how easily Changmin is backing down without a fight. “So… is that a yes from you?”

The younger father shrugs slackly. “Junghwa’s two parents have already decided. Does my opinion really matter anymore?”

Changmin’s words pierce Yunho like a scalding knife. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asks, voice threateningly low.

Changmin wrenches his hand out of Yunho’s grasp. “Exactly what I said.”

“Your opinion matters to me!” Yunho nearly shouts, anger building up inside him. “It matters to Junghwa! You’re important to us!”

“Important? I’m important? If I was that important, you would have discussed this with me first. But instead, the first thing you did was to go to _her!_ You made your decision! Did you consider my feelings at all?”

“And now I’m asking you for them!”

“And I say no! What are you going to do about it?”

Yunho sighs loudly, frustrated. “I’m going to tell you why I think it’s wrong and ask for you to reconsider—”

“There you go! My opinion won’t matter either way!”

Yunho glares, his chest throbbing with rage. “I hate it when you act like this, Changmin. Always acting like the victim, always acting like the whole world has wronged you.”

“SHE HAS!” Changmin bellows. “Wronged me, wronged Junghwa, wronged you!”

Yunho groans in painful restraint. This is heading off to a direction Yunho’s not prepared to go. “Okay, now is not the time to argue about who wronged who. This is about our daughter!”

“How can you still defend her after what she did to you?”

“I’m not!”

“You still have feelings for her, don’t you?”

“I—” 

Yunho stops. His lips turn numb. 

Does he?

“How?” Changmin mutters, voice shaking, eyes red. “After all these years… how…”

“Look, this isn’t about me—”

“It has always been about you.”

Yunho looks straight into Changmin’s dark eyes, his heart pounding oddly against his ribs.

No, he doesn’t have feelings for BoA. His feelings for her died the moment she left him six years ago, the moment she sacrificed Yunho for her dream. Yunho has no more love left for her.

But he can’t bring himself to say it.

Changmin takes Yunho’s silence as the answer. He turns to walk back to the kitchen, but stops when he sees a crying Junghwa, her face swollen, eyes drowning with tears.

She’s been standing there the entire time.

“Daddy… Papa… stop… stop fighting, please…”

Yunho’s heart breaks.

Changmin pulls Junghwa to a hug. She buries her face into Changmin’s stomach and wraps hers arms tightly around his hips.

“No more, Junghwa,” Changmin says softly, hugging her head. “There will be no more fighting.” 

He does not look at Yunho.

 

* * *

 

BoA arrives at six o’clock sharp.

“Hey,” Yunho greets, rushing to her. He takes a peek out the studio entrance and sees a white mini-van parked to the side. A burly man is sitting in the driver’s seat, eyes shining hungrily at the two large pizza slices in his hands.

“Don’t worry, Yunho. My manager was on watch the whole time. And even if there were paps, they’d just assume I’m here for dance practice.”

“Oh yeah, of course,” Yunho smiles awkwardly, feeling slightly embarrassed at his overreaction. He quietly closes the door and gestures BoA to follow him to the end of the hall.

“Did you have a good day?” Yunho asks.

BoA nods, taking off her sunglasses. “Spent all day recording my new album.”

“A new album already? Don’t forget to give me a free copy when it’s ready!”

BoA smiles. “Definitely. And you’re welcome to come to the recording studios any time to see my work.”

“Seriously?” Yunho cries, elated. “Can I bring Junghwa too?”

BoA stops in her tracks, her smile falling.

“Did you tell her who she was seeing?” she asks, voice barely audible.

Yunho’s heart races, the purpose of BoA’s visit finally hitting him for real. “Yes, I did. I… I was honest. I told her that her mother was coming to see her.”

BoA looks away from Yunho nervously. “How did she react?”

“Calm. But I think she’s worried. She never grew up with a mother. To suddenly have someone like that coming into her life… it’s a bit foreign for her.”

“I understand.”

“Give her some time, okay?”

BoA meets Yunho’s eyes and takes a deep breath. She nods.

Yunho is feeling quite nervous himself. 

They reach the meeting room at the end of the hall. Junghwa immediately stands up from behind the desk just as Yunho and BoA step into the room.

Yunho walks over to her, smiling warmly. “Giggly bear? Guess who’s here to see you?” 

Junghwa runs over to Yunho and hugs his leg. Hiding her face behind Yunho, she looks up at BoA curiously.

BoA flushes with color, tears welling on her eyes.

“She’s your mother,” Yunho tells Junghwa softly, rubbing her small shoulders.

Yunho feels Junghwa’s grip on his thigh tighten. Her large hazel eyes stare at BoA, unmoving.

“Say hi,” Yunho nudges.

BoA bows. “Hello, Junghwa,” she greets, thick with emotion. “I’m BoA.”

Junghwa hesitates, contemplating. She finally releases Yunho’s leg and bows in return. 

“Hi,” Junghwa says quietly. She quickly recoils back to Yunho’s side and buries her face on his thigh.

BoA looks ready to break, but she quickly sucks in a sob and pulls out a Hello Kitty doll from her bag. “I hear you really like Hello Kitty, so I got this for you. A gift for our first meeting. I hope you like it.”

Having skimmed through the official website with Junghwa before, Yunho immediately recognizes the doll. “Wow! Look, Junghwa! Limited edition from Japan!”

Junghwa’s lips curl into a small, excited smile. Yunho urges her forward, and she politely takes the doll from BoA.

“What do you say, Junghwa?”

Junghwa looks up at BoA. “Thank you,” she says happily, hugging the doll.

BoA kneels down to Junghwa’s length and pats her head softly. “You’re welcome, Junghwa.”

Yunho bestows BoA a warm smile. “Thanks… BoA,” he says stiffly, his spine tensing at the foreign feeling of calling out her name. He hasn’t said her name like that in many years.

BoA turns red.

To Yunho’s relief, Junghwa warms up to BoA incredibly fast, and within the next ten minutes, the talkative little critter is already telling BoA her life’s stories. Yunho quietly watches them interact from the other side of the room, heart warming, feeling accomplished.

Junghwa soon announces that she’s hungry, and BoA suggests dinner together. “My treat,” she offers, but Yunho is hesitant.

“Changmin, isn’t it?”

Yunho scowls at the name, still angry with him. “No,” he lies.

“Did something happen?”

“No,” he lies again, crossing his arms.

“I… kind of ruined his mood yesterday, didn’t I?”

Yunho falters at BoA’s worried look. “Well, you know how Changmin is. He’s a stubborn guy. Give it a few… uh, years and he’ll calm down.”

BoA chuckles. “I was thinking about inviting him too, but I think maybe we should wait on that, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s not going to be pleasant.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“You apologized many times, BoA. I get it. I understand.”

BoA manages a small smile.

 

* * *

 

He knew this day was bound to come, but Changmin is not ready. 

Shit, he will never be ready.

If Minho didn’t drag him back to the hospital on his day off, if that old grandpa didn’t take a week to cross the road, if that coffee shop didn’t fuck up his order, if he made it back on time to drag Yunho out of there, like he was supposed to, then maybe Yunho wouldn’t have seen her. Then maybe Yunho wouldn’t have second thoughts, then maybe….

It was all Minho’s fault.

“So she did come back,” Kyuhyun proclaims sadly, patting Changmin roughly on the shoulder.

Changmin takes another swing of his beer.

“Yeah,” he grumbles, feeling lightheaded from all the alcohol.

“Who?” Minho asks.

Kyuhyun gives Changmin a look, and Changmin nods, stone-faced.

“Junghwa’s mother,” Kyuhyun says in a matter-of-fact tone, popping open another beer bottle. “BoA.”

“BoA? Like Kwon BoA?” Minho inquires, eyebrows perched high.

Kyuhyun scratches his chin. “There aren’t many people out there with that name.”

Minho’s jaw drops. He gapes at Kyuhyun like a dehydrated goldfish and then slowly turns his gaze to Changmin, his jaws dropping lower. “No way.”

Changmin feels like his head is getting burnt off.

“Shit!” Minho says, whacking Changmin hard in the arm. Realizing that he had elicited strange looks from the people sitting around them, Minho falls into a whisper, “You fucked BoA?”

“Just once,” Changmin growls, his brain stuffed with memories he doesn’t want to keep. “She was Yunho hyung’s girlfriend in college.”

“Holy shit. I mean I knew you and Yunho hyung were close but not _that_ close.”

Changmin leans toward Minho, glaring down at him.

“Once,” he snaps. “I didn’t know they were still together at the time, okay? And if I did, I would never have done it. I…” Changmin buries his head in his arms, groaning. “God, this is fucking insane.” 

“Yunho hyung forgave you,” Kyuhyun points out. “And you guys agreed to raise Junghwa together. Everything was going well.”

“Yeah, until she showed up,” Changmin mutters grumpily, staring so hard at his beer bottle he could probably make it explode.

Kyuhyun scoots closer. “So what’s the problem then?”

“I—” 

Changmin pulls at his hair, frustrated.

“Shit, I don’t know! Did I murder her entire family in my previous life or something? Why does she always come back to haunt me? Why is she always taking things from me? WHY?”

“Calm down, hyung,” Minho frowns.

Kyuhyun mouth falls open but then he quickly closes it. He makes a humorous chortling sound, nodding with a lopsided grin plastered across his face. “Makes sense.”

Changmin’s shoulder stiffen. He blinks dully at Kyuhyun, wondering what seemed to have enlightened him.

“What makes sense?” Minho helps Changmin ask.

“Don’t worry, bro,” Kyuhyun says, ignoring Minho. “She may be Junghwa’s birth mother, but she doesn’t have what you have with Junghwa. And with Yunho hyung too, of course. She can never take them away from you.”

Changmin frowns, confused. “That… that’s not what I—”

“—but if she wants Junghwa back,” Minho interrupts, looking at Changmin like a lost puppy. “You can’t really say no… can you?”

Changmin glowers at Minho.

Minho continues, “Then what are you and Yunho hyung going to do when Junghwa leaves?”

Kyuhyun smacks Minho in the head. “What kind of question is that?”

“A genuine one?” he asks with a glare, rubbing his head. 

“But you do have a point,” says Kyuhyun, ruffling Minho’s hair. “Yunho hyung’s always been a very diplomatic guy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he decides to let BoA share custody if Junghwa says yes.”

Changmin hates it whenever Kyuhyun is right.

“He always thinks about what’s best for others and not for himself. I hate it when he does that,” Changmin growls.

“It’s time for you to start thinking about what’s best for him,” Kyuhyun proposes generously, downing his beer.

Changmin’s hands curl into fists. No. BoA will not have Junghwa, or Yunho, or… fuck. She should just fuck off.

He kicks the bar table with his feet and roars at the bartender. “Another round!”

 

* * *

 

Not only is it past Junghwa’s bedtime, it is way past Yunho’s own bedtime and he can no longer keep his eyes open without looking like constipated turtle.

He turns off the light in the living room, kicks his bedroom door open and faceplants onto his bed.

Yunho doesn’t even know why he still stays up for Changmin, that ungrateful git.

But just as he starts to drift off, the doorbell rings, knocking Yunho back to consciousness.

Cursing at Changmin under his breath, Yunho stomps over to the front door, determined to give that irresponsible kid another lecture about fatherhood and the importance of setting good examples for children.

But it turns out that Changmin may not be sober enough to pay attention, because as soon as Yunho throws open the door, Kyuhyun and Minho push into his apartment, dragging a nearly unconscious Changmin behind them.

Yunho’s heart nearly stops, now wide awake. “Changmin?” he says, touching Changmin’s burning face.

“Hella wasted,” Kyuhyun croaks as he and Minho dump Changmin onto the couch. Yunho immediately goes to unbutton Changmin’s collar.

Changmin scowls, face shining with sweat. “Get off,” he mumbles, pushing Yunho’s hand away.

“Changmin, it’s me.”

“I’ve never seen Changmin this drunk before,” Kyuhyun grunts as he struggles to help Yunho take off Changmin’s sticky shirt.

“Me neither,” Yunho blurts out, frowning with worry.

“Yunho,” Changmin moans, writhing on the sofa.

“I’m here, I’m here.”

Minho pipes in. “We really tried to stop him, but he just couldn’t stop drinking. He’s really upset about BoA.”

Yunho pauses, glancing up at Minho. “You know?”

“He didn’t mean to pry, hyung,” Kyuhyun says immediately, glaring at the younger man.

“No, it’s okay,” Yunho assures. “There’s nothing to hide. I—argh, Changmin!”

Changmin had just thrown up on Yunho.

“I got a shot too,” Minho pouts, showing Yunho the big yellow stain on his blue sweatshirt.

Yunho pulls off his dirty tank. “Thanks for bringing him back guys.”

“No problem. Do you want us to stay and help?” Kyuhyun offers.

“I don’t think there’s much help needed, to be honest,” Yunho imparts, grimacing at Changmin over his shoulder.

“Oh no, he definitely needs a lot of help,” Kyuhyun acknowledges, rolling his eyes. “But I’m sure you can help him.”

Yunho blinks dumbly at him, confused.

With a snicker and a quick pat on Yunho’s back, Kyuhyun drags Minho out of the apartment. Yunho closes the door after them, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“Hyung,” Changmin groans softly, bringing Yunho’s attention back to him.

Yunho tosses his and Changmin’s tainted shirts into the kitchen sink and fills up a glass of water.

“Here, drink,” Yunho nudges, pushing Changmin up to a sitting position.

Changmin leans back, face moving away from Yunho. “No, stop—”

“You have to get hydrated. Come on…”

Yunho gently coerces Changmin to open his mouth with his hands, and the younger man finally drinks, desperately, finishing the glass of water in four seconds flat.

He falls back onto the sofa, eyes shut tight. 

Yunho sets the empty glass aside. He examines Changmin’s drunken stupor and sighs. “Why do you have to do this to yourself, Changmin?” he says, pushing Changmin’s fringe back.

Changmin’s eyes flutter open at Yunho’s touch. In a flash, he grabs Yunho by the neck and pulls him close, brushing nose to nose.

Yunho’s eyes widen, his heart racing with feverish speed.

“She’s taking them away,” Changmin breathes into Yunho’s lips. “Leaving me.”

What?

Yunho feels weightless.

They’re so close, lips almost touching.

Changmin’s scent, Changmin’s touch....

Just so close....

“Leaving me,” Changmin groans softly again, squeezing his eyes shut with a grimace of pain. He releases Yunho and falls back onto the siofa, rubbing his forehead furiously. “Leaving me…”

Yunho breathes deeply, feeling like he had just run a mile.

“No one’s leaving anyone,” Yunho says hoarsely, voice broken.

Changmin opens his eyes again. They’re wet, bloodshot, sad.

He gazes up at the ceiling. “Yunho loves her. I can feel it.”

_Love._

Yunho feels as if his heart had burst open, realization crashing into him like a punch in the chest. 

This is it. This is what he’s been waiting for all these years.

He's never considered responsibility to be a burden. He didn’t regret giving up his dream to be with Changmin and Junghwa; it was a noble thing to do. It was the right thing to do. But still, there would be this one, small guilty inkling of “what if”—what if he never met BoA? What if Junghwa never happened? What would he be doing now? Would he be battling in the courtroom, fighting for justice like what he had always wanted? It was a dark secret that slept deep in his heart, a thought that Yunho didn’t dare to touch.

But Yunho never sacrificed his dream.

His dream had always been right in front of him.

“No, Changmin,” Yunho manages, succumbing to tears. “He loves you.”

Changmin closes his eyes.

“I love him too.”


	4. Lesson Four

Changmin opens his eyes and sees the hazy shadow of some dude staring down at him. 

He blinks once, twice, thrice. The discharge in his eyes is fogging up his field of vision. He feels like absolute shit, and his head is as heavy as a brick of lead.

He blinks again and his eyesight finally clears up.

Yunho is looking down at him, his expression amused. 

“Rise and shine!” 

Changmin sighs, relieved that it wasn’t some random guy who picked him up in the streets. He closes his eyes, the pounding in his head growing heavier. 

“Oh, god. I was really drunk last night wasn’t I?”

“You’re a doctor, Changmin. You should know better.”

“Shut up.” 

Yunho chuckles airily.

“Ugh, hangover,” Changmin groans, massaging his temples.

“You don’t remember what happened last night, do you?”

Changmin shakes his head, his mind absolutely blank. “I don’t remember a thing… shit,” he mutters in shock, eyes shooting open. “Don’t tell me I did something embarrassing.”

“Well,” Yunho starts, looking serious, leaning so close that Changmin can count the pores on his nose. “You did wet your pants last night.”

“Fuck off, I did not,” Changmin groans, pushing Yunho off.

Yunho laughs in an obnoxious, attractive way that makes Changmin highly uncomfortable.

“Get up,” Yunho says, sobering up. “Breakfast is ready. I made you some ginger tea.”

With much effort Changmin pushes himself off the bed and cleans himself in the bathroom. He grimaces when he sees his reflection in the mirror. He hasn’t showered for two days, haven’t shaved for more than that, smells like soggy, expired beer and he looks like he’s been sleeping under the street bridge his whole life.

How does Yunho deal with him? He doesn’t know himself.

And did he really wet his pants?

 

* * *

 

Showered, cologned, and shaved, Changmin emerges from the shower refreshed and wide awake. Yunho and Junghwa are already eating breakfast at the table, and when Changmin sits down on his usual spot next to Junghwa, the little girl stiffens.

“What’s wrong?” Changmin asks, frowning. “Do I still smell like beer?” he mumbles, sniffing his arms.

Junghwa pouts, fidgeting with her spoon. 

“Sorry, Papa.”

Taken aback, Changmin sends Yunho a _what’s-happening_ look, but the other man shrugs back at him, equally confused.

“Why?” he asks Junghwa, sipping on his tea.

“I know you’re mad at Daddy because of me. Don’t be mad at him.”

_Ah._

Changmin swallows hard. It’s a bittersweet feeling; to know that despite being only five years old Junghwa is already so sensible, and so wise. But to see Junghwa being upset, scared, and worried for her parents also makes Changmin’s heart shatter. 

Throughout this ordeal, he has never once considered Junghwa’s feelings, never once asked her if she wanted to see her mother, never once looked at things from her standpoint. By firmly denying BoA’s existence in her life, Changmin thought he was protecting her.

But he was only protecting himself. Only he is in denial.

Selfishness had blinded Changmin’s judgement. He does not know how to be a parent. He is undeserving to be Junghwa’s father.

“Silly bear,” Changmin says as he lightly rubs the back of Junghwa’s head. “I’m not mad at Daddy. I’m not mad at him at all. In fact, I should be the one to say sorry. I’m sorry for yelling yesterday. I didn’t mean to scare you. Will you—” 

He looks straight into Yunho’s eyes, focused and determined. “—forgive me?”

How Changmin wishes to be like Yunho; Yunho, who puts his family before himself; Yunho, who is compassionate, selfless, and true.

Yunho, who… is everything to him.

Yunho returns Changmin’s gaze, his expression melancholy... sad, relieved? Changmin can’t quite read him. 

The other man nods gently and puts on a smile. “Forgiven.” He turns to Junghwa and raises his eyebrows. “You?”

A large grin rips across Junghwa’s face. She nods fervently, “Yep! Forgiven!”

Changmin laughs heartily. “You guys sure forgive easily.”

“Fine,” Yunho snorts. “You’re unforgiven then. No food for you.” He makes a grab for Changmin’s plate, but Changmin pulls back in time, lifting his plate out of Yunho’s reach.

He stuffs a muffin into his mouth. “Just joking.”

Junghwa giggles.

Changmin hasn’t smiled so hard in days.

“So, Junghwa,” he starts, getting straight to business. “You met your mother yesterday.”

Junghwa drops her spoon and clasps her hands over her mouth. She looks at Yunho cutely, eyes wide and round. 

“I thought you didn’t know,” she muffles into her hand.

“I am your father, Junghwa! I can read right through you!” Changmin tickles Junghwa and her laughter fills the air. “So,” he proceeds, turning to Yunho. “How did it go?”

“They got along really well.”

“Mmhmm! Mommy BoA is really nice. She gave me Hello Kitty! See?” Junghwa holds up a large woven Hello Kitty doll that was sitting on her lap.

“Mommy BoA? You guys sure got close pretty fast. I’m jealous.”

“Don’t be jealous, Papa! I’ll…” little Junghwa makes a pouting face, thinking hard. “I’ll arrange my schedule better! Monday and Tuesday is Papa, Wednesday and Thursday is Daddy, Friday and Saturday is Mommy BoA, and Sunday is family day for all three!”

Yunho chokes into his tea cup, his forehead an alarming pink.

Changmin chortles softly, ruffling Junghwa’s hair. “We have to schedule meetings now? You’re a busy girl, aren’t you?”

Yunho clears his throat nervously. “Uh, giggly bear? Mommy BoA is very busy. I don’t think she can spend family days with us every week.”

“Oh. That’s okay! As long as Daddy and Papa are here!” she says brightly.

Changmin looks at Yunho, grinning. “Sounds like a good plan.”

Yunho’s eyebrows contract.

 

* * *

 

“What was that all about?” Yunho asks as he steps into the kitchen.

“What?”

“You agreed to Junghwa’s ‘plan’.”

“Come again?”

Yunho wedges next to Changmin by the sink. “You’re not against BoA seeing her.”

Changmin pauses.

“Yeah,” he says after a moment, and puts a clean dish on the dry rack.

Yunho sputters. “And I was here spending all morning trying to come up with a way to explain to you—”

“You don’t need to explain. I understand.”

Yunho blinks, hands frozen mid-air. “You do?”

“You’re right. Junghwa has every right to see her mother,” says Changmin as he watches Yunho from the corner of his eye. “I was concerned about you—two,” he corrects, slow-witted and dumb, “because of what BoA did to us six years ago. I find it hard to trust her again, but… I shouldn’t have not trusted you.” 

Yunho stares at him, mouth falling open.

“You were right all along,” Changmin presses on, awkwardly, feeling constricted from Yunho’s stares. “After hearing what Junghwa said, about having… the _three of us_ in her world… maybe BoA’s return isn’t so bad after all.”

“It’s not at all,” Yunho says immediately. “BoA came back just to see Junghwa. She’s not going to take her away from you. I mean, she can't.”

Changmin’s chest tightens. 

“I trust you,” he whispers, meeting Yunho’s eyes.

Yunho’s eyes are soft, tender, warm. It’s pulling Changmin in like a magnet, and he can’t look away. Changmin furrows his brows, confused. It’s a strange, foreign feeling. He’s never felt like this before. Not even with Victoria.

Flustered, Yunho bumps Changmin off the sink.

“I’ll do it,” he says, cheeks dark, pulling on dishwashing gloves. “You have a shift this afternoon. Go take a rest.”

Well. That was strange.

 

* * *

 

“You’re in a good mood today,” Sunday observes.

“No night shifts this week,” Changmin grins haughtily, pointing at his wristwatch. “And just in time to go back home for dinner. Or—well actually _cook_ dinner, because I really don’t trust Yunho hyung’s cooking.”

“Speaking of dinner…” Sunday starts, closing Changmin’s office door behind her. “There’s a new Italian restaurant on rodeo street. I heard it’s really good.”

 _“Another_ new restaurant?” Changmin snorts as he sorts through his patient’s files. “What is it this time. Mario-themed Italian food?”

Sunday raises an eyebrow. “Mario?”

“Mario? As in Super Mario? He’s Italian.”

“…sure,” Sunday says, frowning. “But are you free tonight?”

“I can be. Why?”

Sunday takes a quick, shaky breath. She looks down, suddenly very interested in the small ring on her right pinky finger. “Just wondering if you want to try it with me,” she says in a small voice.

“Just me and you? Like a date?” Changmin smartly suggests as he leans over his desk, chin in hands, his grin mischievous.

Sunday shoots Changmin an unimpressed look. 

He chortles lightly to himself, triumphant, and resumes his focus back to the papers stacked on his desk.

Sunday takes a step closer, her thighs digging into the edge of his desk. “Yes,” she asserts, clearly. “I’m asking you out, Shim Changmin.”

Changmin drops his pen.

“Oh,” he mumbles, taken aback at her abrupt confession. He was not expecting this. Not expecting this at all. “I… I uh—”

“You can say no. I can take rejection. At least I know I have an answer, right?”

“No… it’s not that…”

Sunday crosses her arms and squints her eyes at him.

“Then it’s what?”

Stiff, Changmin shifts in his chair uncomfortably. He rolls a few inches back. “It’s just… so unexpected. I don’t know how to react.”

“Well, then I’m giving you time to react now.”

Changmin’s armpits are sweating to an embarrassingly excessive amount. He looks down, away, just about anywhere else but at Sunday.

After a long, painful minute, Sunday finally stands back. 

“Okay, then,” she says, face dark. “I get it.”

She turns to leave the office, but Changmin grabs her hand, stopping her.

“Noona. I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“It’ll only be awkward if you make it so.”

Changmin bites his lips. He nods slowly, an odd aching sensation gnawing his stomach. He has never thought about treating Sunday as more than just a friend, but maybe that’s just him being stupid and oblivious. Changmin doesn’t want to admit it, but ever since Victoria broke up with him, Changmin’s been feeling empty, incomplete, like a part of him is missing.

As if he is missing a piece that was supposed to be part of him all along.

And no, it’s not because he misses Victoria. He frankly doesn’t know what he misses.

But maybe Sunday can cure him. Maybe she can fill up that void in him.

Changmin tightens his grip on Sunday’s hand. “But I do want to try something new. Let’s try it.”

Sunday’s face immediately lights up.

“Yes. Let’s. I’ve booked a table already. 7 pm. Dress nicely.”

Changmin forces a stiff smile. He will probably be regretting this.

 

* * *

 

“Junghwa is at grandma’s place,” Yunho says as Changmin gets into his car. “She won’t be eating dinner with us.”

“Yeah, about that—” 

Yunho’s phone vibrates furiously by the handbrake. He picks it up, and Changmin manages to take a quick peek at the message on his phone—

_BoA:  
Are you free for dinner tonight?_

Changmin’s gut knots. 

They’re in texting terms now?

Holy fuck no.

“About what?” Yunho asks Changmin offhandedly, about to type in a reply.

“Oh, I was just wondering… um…” he mumbles, scowling at Yunho’s phone, his mind considering all possible ways to make Yunho say no to BoA without making it seem like he’s being desperate (which he kinda is). “If you’re free tonight.”

Yunho immediately looks up at Changmin, thick eyebrows raised.

Changmin’s heart is beating out of his chest.

_Please say you are._

“Why?” Yunho asks suspiciously. “You have plans?”

Changmin’s feeling sick.

“With you.”

He actually had no idea what he just vomited, but whatever he said made Yunho turn as red as a tomato.

Blinking profusely, Changmin quickly clarifies.

“Well, I mean… since our salad date a few days ago was kind of… ruined, let’s try again tonight. There’s a really fancy Italian restaurant on rodeo street. I want to try it with you.”

Yunho’s bites back a smile. He puts down his phone, and Changmin feels the tension that was mounting up in his chest deflate. 

“Okay! What time?”

A time clicks to Changmin.

“Uh… 7 pm.”

Shit.

 

* * *

 

Changmin is a dick.

 _Shit,_ Changmin groans as he stares into his closet distantly, his mind not entirely there.

He had just asked Yunho out to a dinner that he was supposed to have with Sunday.

He knew something wasn’t right. He knew something was off, but by the time he had realized it, it was already too late to take anything back. Yunho, without hesitation, agreed to go to dinner with Changmin tonight. Which must mean that Yunho has turned down BoA’s date. Which then must mean that Yunho is not interested in BoA, and for some odd reason, that made Changmin ridiculously happy and relieved. But why does Changmin feel like he is being the biggest asshole dweeb head jerk—

“Shit,” Changmin curses, realization punching him hard in the face. He should have thought this through. He’s going to have to call that Mario restaurant and book another table, and somehow make himself available for both dates at the same time. Mess. But how will that be feasible? He can’t excuse himself to the restroom all the time—

 _Bullshit,_ Changmin thinks as he grabs a random suit off the hanger. He’s stupid. Yunho isn’t some date. Yunho is his hyung, his best friend, his family. Besides, Yunho and Sunday are friends. He, Yunho, and Sunday have eaten out together before. They can all eat together. This can just be like any other dinner that they’ve had.

He puts on the suit and blindly checks himself out in the mirror.

Inviting another person to what is supposed to be a dinner date might be a douchey move, but protecting his hyung from an ex that can potentially break his heart again is much, much more important at the moment.

100 precent more important. Changmin’s journey to lifelong happiness can wait.

Feeling noble, Changmin pulls out his phone and texts Sunday.

_Can Yunho hyung come too?_

Five seconds.

 _Is that alright with you?_ he adds.

Two minutes.

 _Sure. You owe me,_ Sunday replies. 

Changmin smiles. He will definitely be treating her to two more dinners after this.

 

* * *

 

Changmin spots Sunday at the end of the restaurant hall and waves at her. “Hey!”

Sunday stands up and waves back. She gives a nervous glance at Yunho. “Hi, guys.”

Yunho’s face darkens. “Sorry, hyung,” Changmin says apologetically as he takes the chair next to Sunday. “I forgot to mention that Sunday noona would be here too. That’s alright with you, right?”

Yunho musters a smile that looked absolutely fake. “Of course.”

Sunday stares at Changmin in disbelief. “You didn’t tell him?” she whispers fiercely.

Changmin kicks Sunday’s foot and she jerks. Yunho’s smile falls, face blank.

A tall waiter with a botched-up combover waltz towards their table. “Good evening, signori e signora,” he smiles, his bleached teeth blinding Changmin’s eyes. “Are you ready for me to take your orders?”

“Um…” Changmin looks down at the menu and hastily reads through the entrées, not at all caring about what he wants to eat.

It takes him a good, long hard second to realize that he was actually reading gibberish.

“It’s all in Italian.”

“I’ll take a number five,” Yunho says monotonously.

“Oh, me too.”

“And signora?”

“I’ll have a number four, thank you.”

They sit in awkward silence for the next ten minutes. Yunho keeps checking his phone, his expression unreadable and Changmin can’t help but to feel pissed off that he’s probably talking to BoA. Feeling the tension, Sunday tries to start a light conversation with Yunho, but he didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk. 

After what felt like a long trip to Mars and back, their entrees finally come rolling in via cart.

Changmin’s jaws drops as he sees a thick stack of bowls. 

“That—that’s all soup.”

“Number four and two number fives,” the waiter reminds them cheerfully, forcing on an overly friendly smile on his wide face. “All soup entrées, signor.”

Sunday laughs and playfully slaps Changmin on the shoulders. 

Yunho glares at his soup.

Five wordless slurps and three seconds later, Yunho roughly stands up from his seat, disregarding all etiquette.

“Excuse me,” he drawls, eyes dead. “All this soup makes me want to take a leak.”

He heads for the restroom, phone in hand.

Changmin’s heart skips a beat.

“Wait, hyung—” he calls out, leaping out of his seat. “Noona, I’ll be right back.”

Changmin catches Yunho standing in front of the men’s restroom, talking into his phone.

“That was BoA, wasn’t it?” he asks as Yunho hangs up.

Yunho ignores him and pushes into the bathroom.

Changmin runs in after him and grabs his arm, but Yunho flicks him off, sending him an angry glare.

“W-was that BoA?” Changmin asks again, voice more shaken, looking at Yunho anxiously from the corner of his eye.

“Yes. Yes, it was. And?”

“But… but we’re having dinner—”

“No. _You’re_ having dinner. You brought me to your date with Sunday? Are you fucking out of your mind? What do you think I am?”

“It’s not a date! Hyung, let me explain—” Changmin makes another grab for Yunho’s arm but Yunho jerks his arm out of his reach.

Changmin cries out irritably. “I forgot, okay? Sunday invited me to dinner and I forgot to tell you—”

 _“You forgot,”_ Yunho scoffs. “You’re a terrible liar. You’ve always been a terrible liar, you know that?”

“I—look,” Changmin begins desperately, almost pleading. “I know BoA asked you out tonight, but you can’t go to her. Why do you even want to go back to her? Why are you giving this woman another chance after what she did to you? She cheated on you! She left you behind! She—”

“Are you telling me,” Yunho interrupts, eyes wild with fury, “that the reason why you invited me here, is so I can’t go out with BoA tonight?”

Changmin pauses. He hasn’t realized how immature and dumb he was acting until Yunho actually said it out loud.

“A child,” Yunho mutters in disbelief, shaking his head. “You’re a fucking child, Shim Changmin.”

“Hyung—”

“FUCK OFF!”

Stunned, Changmin backs away, hands in the air.

Without a second glance, Yunho exits the bathroom in furious speed.

“Hyung! I’m sorry! Hyung!” Changmin runs after Yunho, but the other man and his car were already gone by the time Changmin makes it to the entrance of the restaurant.

Changmin slides to the ground, burying his face in his hands. 

“Shit,” he groans.

 _Mess, mess, mess._

Changmin hears the sound of sharp footsteps stop next to him. He slowly looks up, and sees Sunday staring down at him, her eyes in a strained expression of pity.

“Well,” she says. “That was pleasant.”

Changmin sighs. “I’m sorry.”

Sunday gingerly sits on the ground next to Changmin, tugging down her short cocktail dress. 

“I should have known,” she says whimsically. “Actually I’ve always known, but I just refused to believe it.”

“Believe that I’m a big pile of shit?”

“Oh, you’re definitely a big pile, but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about Yunho oppa.”

Changmin turns to her silently, eyebrows raised, waiting for her to clarify.

“He likes you, Changmin. A lot.”

Changmin snorts. “I don’t think he’ll like me after this.”

Sunday rolls her eyes. “For a resident with top marks I’m surprised at how you can be so thick in the head. How did you even pass med school?”

“What are you talking about?”

Sunday sighs at Changmin disdainfully. “If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t have rejected BoA and agreed to go out to dinner with you in the first place. If he didn’t like you, why did he have such a strong reaction when he saw me tonight?”

Blood rushes to Changmin’s head, as if a beast that had been lying dormant inside him was suddenly released.

“…and after all my years of working with you, seeing you with Yunho oppa,” Sunday continues, serious as she turns to Changmin. “I can tell that… you like him a lot too.”

Blinding realization hits Changmin hard in the stomach, slaps him in the face like a fapping fish.

He can’t believe it took him this many years to figure it out.

He loves Yunho, loves him deeply, passionately, and nothing upsets Changmin more than seeing Yunho being in love with someone else.

This is… this is jealousy.

Holy shit. He’s jealous of BoA. Like a fourth grader with a terrible case of puppy love.

This is actually kind of embarrassing.

Changmin breaks into raucous laughter, tears bursting out of his eyes

Sunday grimaces, disgusted. “Why are you laughing?”

Changmin shakes his head as he tries to calm down, his stomach sore. “You’re amazing, noona. You know that?”

Sunday’s lips curl into a smirk, her expression enormously smug. “Of course I do.”

“Thanks, noona,” Changmin says gratefully. “I know what to do now.”

“Good boy.”

Sunday stands up and Changmin follows suit, heart lifting, eager to get home and see Yunho as soon as possible.

She narrows her eyes at Changmin when she realized that he had been following her. “What are you doing?”

“You’re not taking me home?”

“Hell no! You fucked up my dinner. I’m not in the mood to be your chauffeur. You trot back home.”

 

* * *

 

Changmin can’t seem to remember the last time he took public transport, but he is in too much of a good mood to be complaining about getting lost, or how it randomly started to rain like the Buddha was taking a huge-ass dump, or how his taxi driver had tried to add in an extra mile to the meter—well, Changmin did actually care about the latter and ended up arguing about it with the driver, but the glaring presence of The Great Seoul Bookstore soon distracts him from any other concerns.

Huge posters promoting the recently-released _One Piece: Limited Edition Remastered DVD Set_ is plastered all over the bookstore windows, begging for Changmin’s attention. Remembering that _One Piece_ had always been Yunho’s favorite anime, Changmin steps into the bookstore with a triumphant grin and buys the entire DVD set.

He also buys a box of strawberry pocky, just because.

Changmin runs home, soaking wet, thunder roaring above him like the satisfying sounds of defeating the final boss in _God of War._

But just as Changmin turns into the corner of his neighborhood, he sees Yunho already standing in the main street, holding an umbrella over a much shorter woman who suspiciously looks like BoA. They smile, they laugh, their eyes crinkling pleasantly, literal hearts sprouting out all over them, and Changmin feels… feels…

Sad.

Yunho holds the door open for BoA, and she lightly brushes him on the shoulder with gratitude as she boards the minivan. Yunho follows her in, and they take off.

Changmin’s heart sinks. Drowns.

Changmin’s everything is drowning.

“Fuck you, rain.”

 

* * *

 

“You look very nice tonight, Yunho.”

“Thank you. You look fantastic as well.”

BoA smiles shyly and tucks her hair behind her ear. “Well I don’t go on dates like this very often.”

Yunho tugs at his collar and doesn’t respond. The word “date” has become a very uncomfortable word.

“I have good news,” he says instead. “Changmin said he won’t stop you from seeing Junghwa.”

BoA looks up from her wine glass, eyes sparkling. “He’s accepted me?”

“I guess so,” replies Yunho, taking a small sip of his wine. “You don’t need to sneak around to meet with Junghwa anymore,” he remarks with a wink.

BoA eyes him snottily. “But that takes out the fun.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

BoA throws her head back and laughs, genuine and carefree. Yunho feels a smile tugging at his lips.

Then, BoA sets down her wine glass, silent.

“Leaving you and Junghwa was the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life,” she confesses softly, looking at Yunho with pensive seriousness. 

Yunho’s wine travels down the wrong pipe and he chokes.

“I’m sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused, and I know that no matter how many times I apologize, those lost years will never come back.”

 _What,_ Yunho stares at BoA blankly.

BoA rises from her seat and walks toward Yunho. He finds himself subtly leaning further away from her, his body tensing with dread.

“But we can start again, Yunho.”

She’s getting so close, like they’re exchanging air.

“Start again,” she whispers, “and make things right. Like how it should be.”

She swoops down and kisses him.

Yunho’s eyes widen in shock. He’s glued to his seat, petrified, as BoA’s delicate lips run over his own.

He has kissed her many times before, but this time, it feels foreign, like she’s kissing with lips that do not belong to her. Or maybe it’s Yunho who is the one with the lips that do not belong.

BoA lightly bites on Yunho’s upper lip and tries to coax him into opening his mouth, but then BoA’s face somehow morphs into Changmin’s, and Yunho gasps, pushing BoA away.

“No,” he says breathlessly. “Not like this.”

BoA’s lips are red and swollen, tears spilling out of her eyes.

“Why?”

Yunho looks away, unable to look at her. “I’m sorry, BoA.”

“Is it Changmin?” she chokes.

“No!” Yunho cries, propelled to his feet. “This has nothing to do with Changmin! You want things to go back like how it used to be, but it doesn’t work that way. What’s done is done. I simply can’t love you the same way as I loved you before. I can’t betray your feelings. And I can’t betray my own.” 

BoA steps back as she takes in Yunho’s words, speechless.

“And what if we do get back together?” Yunho continues, his heart racing with every breath he's taking. He has never felt so clear and sure of what he wants in his whole life. “What’s going to happen to us? You have a career, BoA. A very successful career. Are you willing to give up all of what you’ve accomplished for me? For Junghwa?”

BoA stares at him. She looks reticent, perhaps pondering, but after a long moment of silence, she lets out a small, sad chuckle.

“I’m really selfish, aren’t I?”

“We’re all selfish, BoA. That’s how we make our decisions. That’s how we know what is right and wrong for us. I’m sure that deep down inside, you know what’s most right for you.”

BoA hesitates, then smiles. 

“Thank you, Yunho.”

Yunho furrows his brows at her, perplexed.

“For telling it as it is,” says BoA fondly. “For waking me up. You’re so good at doing that.”

“Oh,” Yunho ducks his head, abashed. 

“Well,” he says, scratching the back of his head, “I am in charge of waking them up every morning.”

BoA laughs.

 

* * *

 

“How about this?”

“It’s Daddy’s favorite anime!”

“Yeah! Do you think he’ll like it?”

“Uh huh!” Junghwa assures, standing up on the sofa to pat the back of Changmin’s head. “Don’t worry, Papa. When Daddy sees this he’ll forgive you! I mean, even I will forgive you!”

Changmin chuckles lightly at the gesture. “Thanks, sweetie. But man, I’m sweating. Is it just me, or is it really hot in here?”

Maybe it’s the case of anxiety, or maybe it really is hot, but before Changmin can really do anything else about it, he hears keys fumbling at the door. Changmin immediately launches himself off the couch and holds the DVD set behind his back. Junghwa grabs the pocky box and hides it behind her.

Yunho walks into the flat and pauses when he sees Changmin and Junghwa, standing side-by-side. He closes the door behind him with a hard slam.

Changmin’s face is burning. “Hi, hyung.”

“Hi, Daddy,” Junghwa says, equally as nervous.

Hanging his umbrella off to the side, Yunho glares back at the father and daughter with a skeptical scowl. 

“What.”

“Um, I passed by the bookstore and saw this,” Changmin says apprehensively, showing Yunho the DVD set. “It’s _One Piece._ Remastered!”

Awkward pause.

Yunho loosens his tie, uninterested.

“I… I thought you might like it,” Changmin adds stiffly, armpits sweating profusely. “Oh! And—” Changmin nudges at Junghwa, who immediately catches his message and extends out her arms, pocky in her hands. 

“Strawberry pocky!” she cries ecstatically.

Yunho moves toward them, his steps heavy and grating. He grabs the DVD and pocky, glances up at Junghwa and Changmin with a terrifyingly wooden expression, and then roughly tosses them aside to the armchair. 

“What is this supposed to mean?”

Changmin swallows the lump in his throat. His heart is beating so hard it ached. 

He’s never been this nervous, and it’s annoying the shit out of him. He’s been living with Yunho for five years. He’s known him for more than that. Yunho’s closer to him than any other person in his life. He shouldn’t be this nervous. He shouldn’t be nervous at all. It’s just apologizing. It’s just saying sorry.

A crushing sense of dread falls upon him. Changmin is afraid. Afraid of what Yunho thinks of him. Afraid that Yunho will leave him.

But he deserves it. He deserves it all.

“You’re right, hyung,” Changmin finally says, defeated. “I’m a child. I’ve always been a child and you were always there to pick up my mess.”

Yunho narrows his eyes.

“When BoA came back, I got really angry,” Changmin continues, eyes stinging. “But I wasn’t angry because she wanted Junghwa. I was angry because she wanted you.”

Junghwa moves to Changmin’s side and squeezes his hand. Changmin looks down at her and smiles. Junghwa has always been his warmth and support.

“The way you look at BoA makes me really… uncomfortable,” he falters, blinking rapidly, realizing only now that he had been crying. "Jealousness, I guess.”

Yunho stays still.

“Junghwa, go to your room,” he commands quietly.

“Okay,” she says sadly. She hops out of the couch and goes to her room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Yunho steps closer to Changmin until they are only inches apart.

“And?”

Changmin looks up at Yunho. His stomach clenches. 

“It hurts my heart.”

Yunho studies him for a long moment, expression unreadable. 

“BoA and I kissed.”

Yunho’s words impale Changmin like a blade. The creature in him tears through his chest, and Changmin is numb, dizzy, like he’s slowly dying from the loss of blood.

He pulls himself together. This is it. It’s over. He’s lost.

“That’s nice,” he says as he nods slowly, hesitantly. “Yeah. She’s a pretty good kisser. Not bad.”

“Are you heart broken now?”

Changmin looks away, unable to face Yunho any longer. “I understand. I’ll stop.”

But Changmin soon learns that he doesn’t need to. Just as he’s about to turn away, Yunho grabs his arm, pulls him close, and kisses him.

Changmin freezes. He stares at Yunho with his eyes wide open, mouth agape as Yunho nimbly sucks on his lower lip. Yunho’s tongue gently traces his mouth and Changmin jolts, a tingling sensation poking into his crotch. 

Yunho deepens the kiss. Changmin releases a hungry sound from the back of his throat and he presses himself closer to Yunho. He closes his eyes and cradles Yunho’s delicate face, savoring every nip and kiss from Yunho’s supple lips.

They break apart seconds later, gasping for air.

Yunho smiles brightly, lips puffy, cheeks colored with cherry red. He throws his arms tightly around Changmin’s waist.

“But she’s not as good as you.”

Changmin’s heart leaps. He brushes Yunho’s fringe out of his eyes, grinning so wide his face ached.

“Will you kiss me again, Changmin?”

Changmin does. And forever more after that.


	5. Epilogue

Yunho wakes up from a fireless, dragon-less, deep sleep. Streams of warm sunlight seep through the window blinds, casting celestial shadows across the room. Junghwa is snuggled up against him on the bed, asleep. Changmin is sleeping behind her, spooning her in his arms.

Stomach squirming, Yunho slips out of his covers and bends over Junghwa to get a closer look at Changmin’s peaceful face. Over five years of being together, and Yunho’s never really gotten a clear look at his partner.

Yunho’s eyes slowly trace over Changmin’s long fluttering eyelashes, his tall nose, wide lips, and jutting jawline. Changmin is charming, stunning, beautiful.

He bends down even closer, his heart beating even faster, and it’s like Changmin is gravity, sucking him in. They’re so close, and so intimate. Changmin’s slow and even breathing soothes him, makes him think of sun and grass.

Changmin suddenly pops open an eye and Yunho jumps back, his heart jumping out of his chest.

“G-good morning,” Yunho manages, startled.

Changmin sits up and stretches. He takes a look at Junghwa lying next to him. The little girl is sleeping comfortably on her hands, snoring softly. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t squish her last night,” Changmin says, voice husky, with a click of humor in his tone.

“Well, you were there to protect her,” Yunho blurts out.

He feels himself blushing to his ears, horribly embarrassed that he is capable of saying something so cheesy and cringe-worthy.

Changmin smirks. He bends over and gently pulls Yunho closer by the neck. He brushes his nose against his, and plants a light kiss on Yunho’s lips, smiling.

“Good morning, sleepy bear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally finished LOL. so much fluff AHAHAHA. I kind of rushed it in the end, and none of it probably makes sense but I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it :D
> 
> thanks for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting. ♡♡
> 
> (30 nov 2015) P.S.:  
> this was probably really obvious lol, but junghwa's full name is **shim** (changmin) **jung** (yunho) **hwa** (flower).  
>  her biological father was also never made clear, and that was done on purpose.


End file.
